My Own Sunshine

Jude was a Sunshine person. Something a lot of people have heard me talk about, but for those of you who haven’t; a Sunshine person is someone who exudes kindness, patience, love and happiness without trying. Most of the Sunshine people I’ve known have been teachers or young kids about Jude’s age.

Jude wouldn’t tell anyone she loved them without following it up with “And I love you’s” to everyone else in the room, so not to hurt any feelings.

Jude would never let anyone play alone unless they wanted to (except when her sisters were trying to control her part in whatever they were playing).

Jude was my biggest helper around the house. She would clean her entire room by age 3, and later when she got bigger and shared a room, she would even pick up the slack for whichever sister needed some extra focus.

Jude did have flaws, like we all do. She would tattle tale, squeal-cry when she didn’t get her way every now and then, ask for 6,789 different things before deciding to actually go to sleep on school nights…

She would stomp through the house like she weighed 10 times her weight, slam doors, eat every Pop-Tart (Parp Tart) in the box before we ever got out of bed, and she was naturally stinky! She had such a way of making sure she smelled like syrup, sweaty feet and just a hint ketchup, no matter how recently she’d bathed.

I miss her. I miss all of those things. Most of them are forever memories, and a few I have saved as videos or pictures.

Ya know, I’m not going to try and pretend like I didn’t get seriously annoyed by some of the things she did, because I did! I’d ground her, send her to her room, make her lay down for a nap, give her chores, all the things! I mean, I had no idea how much I’d treasure remembering those moments one day. I thought I’d think back on them eventually when she graduated high school and moved away for college, or when she had her own little curly headed girl someday. I didn’t know five years was all I was getting. And I’m not suggesting for other parents to not punish their children or allow themselves time to breathe away from the kids! That would be insane! That’s no way to live; especially when losing a child isn’t something we should go through!

Don’t imagine you can relate. It’s not possible, no matter how strong your empathy extends, unless you’ve been through it. Just try and take note of things that make your kids who they are, both good and not so great.

I love you, my Sunshine girl. ☀️💜

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